I Don't Wanna Go On Living
by ohstar
Summary: CampRock I don't know why I'm like this.I don't remember when I became like this.Why I don't want love,why I don't want someone to care for me.In the back of my mind,I feel like I don't deserve it.OneShotSongfic to Marie Digby's Unfold.?x?


**I Don't Wanna Go On Living**

Hey, guys. No-this isn't Demi (Miley)-it's Reenie. She's at the Jonas Brothers/Hannah Montana concert, she'll be back around 8:45. I'm in the bus, sick-ughh. But DEMI wrote this, I didn't. She just asked me to upload it for her. It's a oneshot songfic to Marie Digby's song Unfold, cause she thinks Marie Digby rocks-which she does. Well, enjoy! I know I loved it!x) Btw, it's JoexDemi (is there any other way?)

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Demi POV

I don't know why I'm like this. I don't remember when I became like this. Why I don't want love, why I don't want someone to care for me. In the back of my mind, I feel like I don't deserve it.

_What I can remember_

_Is a lot like water_

I used to be in love-I still am. But, the truth is-the world doesn't really know me. I want to be loved, but I feel like I don't deserve it. You see, I'm in love with this guy; he's perfect. And _so_ many girls adore him. He's got the talent, looks, charm, humor... _Everything._ And then he goes and chooses me! He asked me to go on a date with him-and he was so sweet.

_Trickling down a page_

_Of the most beautiful colors_

_I can't quite put my finger_

_Down on the moment_

_I became like this..._

Of course, me being the idiotic, stupid and careless person I was-I refused. Rudely, too. What the hell was I thinking, you ask? He doesn't deserve me-he deserves better. Most people would say yes in an instant-but that's me. Maybe it's when my old boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend, and his excuse was that I was dull and boring. I _believed _him! It's just... he broke me. My heart, my spirit... My love. So, to the world, I'm Demi Lovato-confident, strong... Yet if someone saw the real me-I'm weak. I just don't want it to happen again, I don't want to be broken any more, I already am.

_You see I am the bravest girl_

_You will ever come to meet_

_Yet I shrink down to nothing_

_At the thought of someone _

_Really seeing me_

Fake. It's become my life. And I don't know why I've let it get this far; why I shut people out. Why I shut out love.

_I think my heart is wrapped around_

_And tangled up in winding weeds_

I'm going to change this; I'm going to be the person think I am. I'm going to let love in. I'm going to embrace it; it is a gift. So, here I am. Walking over to his cabin, shaking. With fear. Damn! I'm going to let him in. I'm going to be loved. I will love. I will let love in.

_But I don't wanna go on living_

_Being afraid of showing_

_Someone else my..._

_Imperfections_

I'm almost there. I can see his younger brother sitting out on the front porch with his guitar, strumming random notes while writing words down on a scrap piece of paper. Probably for Miley. (Couldn't resist putting some Niley in-xP). Nick only noticed me when I stepped up onto the first step. He looked worried when he saw my face. He warned me not to break his brother's heart. I told him I never meant to.

_And even though my feet_

_Are trembling_

_And every word I say I'm stumbling_

_I will bare it all.. Watch me unfold_

_Unfold_

I slowly walked into the small wood cabin occupied by the Jonas family. It was empty, filming had just finished for the day. I walked down the main hallway to the end. I heard something whimpering at the room at the end of the hallway; his room.

I've been waiting so long for this. I need this. I need to finish this, I can't block love out forever. I need to embrace it like an old friend, not battle it like a arch enemy.

_My soul_

_It's dying to be free_

_You see...I can't live the rest of my life_

_So guarded_

_It's dying to be free_

_It's up to me to choose..._

_What kind of life I lead_

I slowly opened the door as it creaked. He automaticly looked up at me. I took in a sharp intake of breath as I saw his face. It wasn't the usual bright, happy Joe. He was pale... And his eyes and cheeks looked puffy and red. He had been crying.

I whispered his name. I told him why I had refused him, why I seemed so closed up. And my feelings for him. When I told him how I felt, his pale face automaticly broke into a wide smile that covered his entire face.

He stood up, and quickly took me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist. It felt so nice, just to be here with him. Just to have him holding me. It felt so nice to have anyone holding me, I hadn't let anyone know this in so long. I began to cry, and he pulled his arms from around my shoulders. He asked me what was wrong. I pulled him back to me while whispering **_Just love me. _**He said he wouldn't have in any other way as he swiftly took me into his arms again. I smiled through my tears, this was that moment I had been waiting for. I buried my face into his chest, not wanting the moment to end.

_I will allow someone to love me_

_I will allow someone to love me_

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Hey-yo! Demi here. Reenie might leave a note the top. Didja like it? Im not sure how I feel about it. Yes, it mainly focused on Demi's struggle just to embrace love, not push it away. Check out all of Marie Digby's music, she's amazing. I might be writing another oneshot to her song Stupid For You-one of my fav songs right now.x). Well, hope you enjoyed.

!!!!!!!!R&R!!!!!!!!


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